Final Fantasy X does preschool
by The Maiden Amorisa
Summary: all the orginal charcters are here, expect seymour is placed with his son Lestat, enjoy, read and review!


"Mommy, stop it I'm clean already!" Lestat wined as Ashley wiped his face clean for the 10th time. He frowned holding his Guado Golories lunch pail. "Why do I have to go to preschool for?" he asked looking up at his mother and father "I is your little prince I want to stay home with you?" Lestat asked sniffling.  
  
Seymour bent down with his wife next to his son and kissed his forehead gently  
  
"As a prince you need to mix in with the common people, that's what a good Prince does, so someday you will be a good king" Seymour said handing Lestat his moogle plushie and gently kissing his head.  
  
Ashley smiled as she and Seymour took Lestat's hand and lead him towards his class to meet his teacher and fellow peers.  
  
Lestat entered the room, quickly ducking a flying blitzball that seemed to come from  
  
nowhere. He turned his furious glare upon Ject who was laughing hysterically.  
  
"Good job, ya moron! You almost nailed the prince!" Ject slapped his knee  
  
Tidus' eyes watered as he pushed pass Lestat to retrieve the ball.  
  
Yuna walked over to Lestat and bowed at the waist. "I am Yuna. I will be a high summoner one day."  
  
"Riiight" Lestat crossed his arms "And one day you'll grow out of that ugly face of yours  
  
too." Lestat rolled his green eyes and seated himself.  
  
"You have to be a jerk all the time, ya Lestat?" Wakka lowered his head, ashamed he spoke so harshly to the young maester.  
  
"No no no! That's Prince Lestat or Maester Lestat, Wakka!" The instuctor (annoyingly known as Shelinda) corrected.  
  
Morning recess ended and the children all sulked to their chairs.  
  
"I wonder. Can anyone tell me what they plan to be when they grow up?" Shelinda  
  
inquired to the squirming children.  
  
"Ummm, I'm going to be a Maester and the sexiest man alive!" Lestat spoke up.  
  
Lulu cradled her moogle and glared at Shelinda "I'll be a hot tempered know- it-all with a  
  
flair for black magic and the most controversial outfit I can squeeze myself into."  
  
"Um..." Yuna thought... "You sure?" She glanced at Tidus  
  
Tidus whispered in her ear, then nodded  
  
"What's a prostitue?" Yuna spoke up to Shelinda.  
  
"TIDUS!" Shelinda blushed  
  
"Good job, dumbass! Now we won't get to watch tv in the afternoon!" Ject punched Tidus in the arm.  
  
"Jecht, where did you learn such horrible lanuage?" Shelinda told them "and tv is a forbien machina, there will be no tv at this school" she said folding her arms across her chest. "Wakka how about you?"  
  
"I am gonna join the Besaid Arochas ya? We will win every game in the world, ya" Wakka said unknowing that his team would lose a game for 23 years  
  
"I'm gonna be a theif!" Rikkuu cried bouncing off the walls hyperly then sat next to Wakka  
  
"Get the smelly al bhed away from me, ya!" he cried  
  
"Oh dear...um...Tidus, Jecht, Auron what about you?"  
  
"I am gonna be star of the zankarand abes!" Tidus cried  
  
"I'm gonna be the father of a dumb ass...then become sin" Jecht said  
  
"I" Auron said standing up "am going to save the world!" he said rasing his fist in the air  
  
"Before, or after lunch time?" Lestat asked with a loud yawn.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Shelinda finally got the class settled down at a small circular table. "Okay class, we are going to learn how to spell our name. Will our Prince please go first?"  
  
Lestat stood up and walked to the class  
  
"L-e-s-t-a-t s-e-c-o-n-d s-e-x-i-s-t m-a-n a-l-i-v-e" he said with a smirk.  
  
"Who's the first?" Tidus asked.  
  
"My daddy you dumb ass!" Lestat snapped "and my mommy is the most beautiful woman in the world, not even Lulu could be as pretty as her" he said sitting down amazingly proud of himself  
  
Jecht sneezed that sounded strangly like "Mama's Boy" and Lestat glared  
  
"Tidus, would you like to spell your name?" Shelinda asked.  
  
"I don't know how to spell it..." Tidus said  
  
"I'll help you Tidus" Jecht said looking sincere  
  
"Okay!" Tidus said with a smile  
  
"Tidus, its spelled, d-u-m-b a-s-s, Tidus"  
  
The whole class laughed and Tidus began to cry  
  
"Hey! Yevon lady!" Rikku bounced up and down in her seat.  
  
Shelinda sweatdropped and smiled "Yes, Rikku?"  
  
"Who's the blue dude?" She walked over to him and jabbed him in the shoulder over and over again.  
  
"Oh Kimahri! I almost neglected you! I'm so ... KIMAHRI STOP THAT!!!" She linda  
  
tugged Rikku's hand out of Kimahri's mouth.  
  
Wakka hugged his blitzball and looked at Kimahri "So... what did the Al Bhed taste like?"  
  
"Chappu" Was all Kimahri said.  
  
"WHAAAAT?!" Wakka jumped up.  
  
Lulu grabbed Lestat by his collar. "Prince or not I'm the most beautiful woman ever!"  
  
Lestat calmly pried her fingers off his silk shirt and grinned. "Aah, the ones affected by  
  
summoner envy are bitter and cold, misguided people."  
  
Flames burned in Lulu's eyes as she cast Firaga in Lestat's direction.  
  
Shelinda almost fainted when Lestat ducked and Ject's hair caught on fire.  
  
"AIEIEIEI YOU BITCH!" Ject ran in circles!  
  
"STOP DROP AND ROLL!!!" Shelinda tried to catch Ject.  
  
Yuna stood beside Lulu. "Lulu..."  
  
Lulu glared and casted Waterga.  
  
The class blinked as the room was hit by a tidal wave.  
  
Jecht panted and glared furiously at Lulu, Lestat was doubled over laughing in all hysterical laughter.  
  
Shelinda looking terrified and tried to get the class settled down again.  
  
"Class, lets color shall we? Here are some crayons, makers and colored pencils, and paper, why dont we draw what appeals to us?" she asked.  
  
The class nodded and began to draw eagerly, 15 minutes later, Shilinda asked them to share what they drew.  
  
Jecht walked him and it showed him throwing blitzballs at a crying Tidus, everyone else laughed, but Tidus began to cry.  
  
"Err Tidus show us what you drew.  
  
Tidus sniffled and held up a picture of him dancing on a grave that read 'Jecht on it' everyone laughed, Jecht scowled and Tidus smiled.  
  
Auron held up a picture of sake and little green plants and grinned happily.  
  
Lulu drew a picture of her as a grown up in that tight revealing outfit, all the guys became stary eyed and Lestat pushed Wakka out of the seat next to Lulu. "You know, my mother may be the prettiest woman of my fathers time, but your definatly the most gorgous beautiful woman of my time" he said with stary eyes *-*  
  
Lulu glared out of the corner of her eyes at Lestat who had gone back to drawing his  
  
picture.  
  
Shelinda sweatdropped and glanced at Kimahri who was still scribbling. "Kimahri, why  
  
don't you share your picture with the class?"  
  
Kimahri held up a pic of a blue blob "Kimahri squash Yenke and Biran"  
  
"Lestat... what are you drawing?" Shelinda leaned forward.  
  
Lestat held up a picture of Lulu brushing his hair. He grinned and turned it to show Lulu.  
  
"It's for you. I know we both want this."  
  
Lulu smiled sweetly and lit the picture on fire.  
  
Lestat grimaced and sulked back to his original seat.  
  
"I propse show and tell! What do you all say?" Shelinda began to become desparate.  
  
"Can I show you how much you suck?!" Ject called out.  
  
"Yes, let's have show and tell." Auron chimed. I want to show everyone something!  
  
Tidus grinned. "I'll show you something!" He kicked a blitzball at the back of Ject's head.  
  
The class doubled over in laughter  
  
Lestat walked up to the class "I am showing and telling...me. Because I am a rare beauty, I have my father's hair and amazing chizzled body and my mothers green eyes, no man in the world can compare to my beauty, and every Prince needs a Princess" he said sitting on little lulu's lap,  
  
Lulu smiled "Oh, I am sorry Lestat, I, I, I just dont deserve you" she said before she shoved him off her lap.  
  
"Oww, your supposed to be like my mama and fall madly in love, grrr" he grolwed and sat down  
  
Yuna walked up  
  
"I wanna show you how I can summon!" she cried eagerly as she summoned a baby shiva sucking her thumb quietly.  
  
"SHIVAAAAAAAAAAA" Chibi Chanelle cried comming out of her author's postion to run and hug the little ice queen.  
  
"Chan get back here!" Chibi Ashley cried pulling her away from Shiva "We are the lowely authors that never get mentions, remember?!" she cried dragging her away  
  
"Shivaaaaa ;_;" Chibi Chan pleaded with teary eyes.  
  
Chibi Ashley just smiled pleasantly and tied Chibi Chan back to her seat.  
  
Ject walked over to Chibi Shiva who sat minding her own. "What does it do? Not a bad hold! Make her fall in love with me!"  
  
"Shiva..." Yuna eyed Ject.  
  
Shiva stumbled to her feet and cast Diamond Dust on Ject, successfully freezing him over. She huffed and fell back on her over-padded pamper.  
  
Lestat raised his hands defensively "Nice... Ice... lady..." He dashed behind Lulu.  
  
Shelinda waved her hands frantically "Yunaaa!"  
  
Yuna pouted "Well she can't snap her fingers yet!!!!"  
  
"SO HELP ME, YEVON! SOMEBODY THAW HIM OUT!" Shelinda's eyes started to water.  
  
Lulu shook free from Lestat's grasp and huffed "Oh fine fine. Lulu cast Flare on Ject, thawing him out."  
  
Shelinda massaged her temples and sat in a chair.  
  
Lestat approached her silently and smiled at the class. "Miss Yevon lady, I noticed you were tense. My daddy says that tensed people need to be ummm" he thought for a moment "un-tensed!"  
  
The class just stared at him. Lestat winked and they all caught on.  
  
"I say... you sit here, relax and tell us all a wonderful story. Let's all close our eyes and imagine we're in the Calm Lands, dreaming away. The wonderful breeze is making us all feel bright and shiny."  
  
  
  
"I ain't no queer! Only queers are bright and sh--" Ject shouted out before Tidus and Yuna covered his mouth and pinned him down. Wakka pulled a rope out of Rikku's side pack and silently handed it to Lestat.  
  
"Just close your eyes, Yevon lady." Lestat spoke soothingly.  
  
Shelinda relaxed into her seat while Lestat tied her to the chair. It was only that she felt the tenseness from the knot in the rope that she tried to spring to her feet. "Noooo!"  
  
Lestat walked over to Lulu and high fived her.  
  
"You go boy!" Lulu praised him.  
  
"Tell me I ain't the king!" Lestat huffed on his fist and rubbed it against his shirt. "So... ice cream or tv first?"  
  
"Ice cream WHILE we watch TV!" Rikku swayed around.  
  
"The Al-Bhed is making sense, ya!" Wakka opened the fridge.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The class sat down in front of the TV, eating ice cream happily, they watched with great interest at a show called 'Yunalesca' the talk show were everyone would scream and fight with each other, and if you pissed off Yunalesca enough she would turn Madusa on you .  
  
"Children! I…I must protest! This is a forbidden-MMPH!" she choked as Lestat gagged her to shut her up.  
  
After watching TV they decided to play Artist for awhile…their pallet? The entire room!.  
  
Lestat painted a picture of Lulu with lots of hearts around her and a shinny sun.  
  
Lulu drew all the little stuffed animals she would use as wepons someday, Moogles, Mumba's, Cactars…and all looked very cute.  
  
Khimari once again drew his giant blue blob  
  
Yuna drew baby Shiva sucking her thumb.  
  
Tidus and Jecht both drew blizballs, but in a furry Jecht wrote DUMB ASS across Tidus'.  
  
Auron drew a giant bottle of sake  
  
Rikkuu drew a giant box of strawberry Pocky and Wakka drew a book called 'The Teachings of Yveon. The one thing he was in love with the most.  
  
Wakka looked up at the clock. "Hey man, what does that say?"  
  
Lestat squinted "How should I know? I'm just here to look sexy."  
  
Rikku stared blankly at the clock "Machina?"  
  
Yuna and Tidus scratched their heads in confusion "Err?"  
  
"12:25. Almost time for our guardians to come and pick us up." Came a voice behind them.  
  
Everyone turned around to see... Lulu.  
  
"Go figure, ya?" Wakka went back to coloring in his blitzball.  
  
"Hey Yuna! Call forth some more of those cool Aeons!" Auron wiped his nose with Ject's headband.  
  
Yuna summoned Chibi Valefor and Chibi Ifrit. "Pose so we can draw you guys!"  
  
Ifrit ate the paint.  
  
Valefor threw a tantrum because Chibi Shiva froze his right wing and used his aero attack to blow everything in the room around.  
  
"My hair! Make it stop woman!" Lestat covered his head with a book  
  
Yuna hung from the light fixture "I can't... they're just babies!"  
  
Rikku blew around on a mini-tornado "Wheeeee!"  
  
Ject nailed Valefor in the head with a blitzball (effectively taking out 9999 hp ^^)  
  
"That's my attack, ya!!" Wakka fumed.  
  
Everyone calmed themselves and looked around at the class.  
  
"Ooooooohhhh!" Kimahri shook his finger "You're all going to geeeetttt itttttt!"  
  
"Wasn't me!!" Tidus looked at the mess. Shelinda was hanging from a coat rack, upside-down and crying.  
  
Someone clearing their throat silenced them all. Lady Ashley stepped through the door and gazed around the room.  
  
Seymour stepped in after her, "Impressive."  
  
"I'd say!" Big Ject came in and slapped Seymour on the back, causing him to stumble forward.  
  
"Don't touch me again..." Seymour gazed out of the corner of his eyes and adjusted his robes.  
  
"Daddy!" Lestat lept into his father's arms.  
  
Seymour smiled "Did you enjoy school."  
  
"As usual, people just can't get along without me. I'm needed here. Let's return tomorrow!" Lestat climbed onto his father's shoulder and grinned.  
  
"Spoiled brat..." Yuna huffed and called her Aeons back.  
  
"I agree" Older Yuna leaned over and took little Yuna's staff. "How about I hold onto that before you kill someone. You haven't learned how to send people yet."  
  
"DID YOU JUST CALL MY SON A BRAT?!" Ashley shrieked at Yuna.  
  
"Yes, he must of learned it from your husband" Older Tidus said picking up little Tidus.  
  
Older Lulu walked in making Big Jecht, Big Tidus, Big Auron who just walked in, and Lestat's mouth drop.  
  
"Stop looking you big perverts she said annoyed.  
  
"Ya, stop looking at my woman, ya?" Older Wakka said walking in and picking up little Wakka.  
  
"Your woman?! YOU SAID I WAS YOUR WOMAN!" older Rikkuu screamed running in.  
  
"…You called my son a brat?! I'll KILL YOU!" Ashley screamed not noticing any of the other parents as she launched herself at Yuna pulling her hair and clawing at her eyes.  
  
Seymour watched his wife impressed, but frowned as Tidus was screaming at Yuna: "Come on KILL HER HONEY" frowning, he set Lestat down and taped Tidus on the shoulder.  
  
Tidus turned around and—BAM! Right in the Jaw. Older Tidus began to cry.  
  
"I can see where his kid gets it from" little Jecht muttered.  
  
Seeing the King and Queen fighting with Tidus and Yuna, the other parents began to get into it too. Fighting and punching each other. Choking and pulling hair.  
  
Lestat turned and looked at the others.  
  
"Dude, they are so inmature, lets go get some slurpees" he said.  
  
The other children nodded and began to walk away.  
  
"Um parents? Untie me please?" Shelinda asked.  
  
By now the parents had stopped fighting.  
  
To Seymour's dismay his hair was messy, and Ashley had broken a nail, but both had gotten the upperhand of Tidus and Yuna. Tidus was crying and Yuna was muttering cusswords under her breath.  
  
Lulu and Rikku were a battered mess. Rikku had fire burns and Lulu's dress was torn, exposing a bit of her top, causing Jecht, Auron and Tidus to once again drool.  
  
Wakka let Khimari out of the headlock and looked at Lulu.  
  
"That's some nice clevage, ya?" he said with a stupid grin.  
  
Auron and Jecht laid passed out on the ground, obviously, both instead of fighting, drank to much.  
  
"Well, lets go get our little Prince" Seymour said to his wife leading her away.  
  
The other parents followed totally ignoring Shelinda  
  
"Help? Help? Anyone? Damnit! I Just can't win! I QUIT!" she wailed as she laid their helplessly hoping someone would find her. 


End file.
